My Name Is Nobody

Hello! My name is nobody ! No, that's not my real name but that's who I am to most people and how I feel about myself most of the time. I'm not your typical nobody . I sit in the front of the class in the second unlike other nobodys who sit in the back benches sulking and looking out of the window! I watch her secretly from where I sit. It's difficult to turn and look all the way to the other side of the room way behind ,where she sits ,while the lecturer is teaching ,but I do it anyway. She is taking down notes furiously ! She flicks her braided hair from her shoulders ! She is the topper and one of the most popular girls of my class but me on the other hand ,I'm nobody . I don't think she even knows I exist. I mean ,we do have quite a huge classroom with about a hundred kids packed like sardines which makes it quite difficult for her to see me but I look at her all day long right from chemistry to maths. I know what you're thinking,no,I'm not a stalker . It's just that I have had this huge crush on her from first semester.

At the end of the day , I walk towards the train station all alone .The others walk and have fun with their friends . The only friends I have are the ones that I have to buy.You see I'm kind of a rich kid so buying people with money is easy as long I spend some of my moolah on them. I told you I wasn't like the other nobodys.I walk ahead of the crowd.I climb upto the railway platform . I already see her waiting for the train. I walk past her but she shows no sign of recognition. Not that I was staring or anything . When she looked in my direction, I pretended to be looking at the tracks or at the electrical wires up above.The train stops and she gets into the women's compartment and I get into the first class compartment. It is not that crowded inside . She takes a seat but I choose to stand so that I can see her . The train starts moving and we speed away .

One time ,when she looked at me our eyes met for a couple of seconds.My eyes were filled with love,surprise and amazement but her expression was more of a quizzical one and then she turned away her head immediately.

The train stops at our station and we both get down.Yes, we're from the same place also and no ,it still doesn't mean anything .Its already getting dark now.She walks ahead and climbs the stairs and as I do the same,she is boarding a share auto that will take her to her home . I live near the station so I just walk home in the dark ,kicking these stupid rocks out of my path.

Next morning , I see her again at the station . It looks as if it is going to rain any second . We wait for the train far away from each other.The rain drops start falling on us . She looks mesmerised ,she slowly raises her hand, extends it forward and feels the droplets fall on her skin.The train is fast approaching and she seems disappointed. We board our respective compartments but she is still looking out of the window seemingly mesmerised , lost in her own world . I look out too and I get lost in her world.

The same old boring classes with the same old teachers and the same old lecturers give me a headache. The only comfort is the fact that I get to look at her every few minutes . I'm asked by the person sitting next to me whether or not he can borrow my notes . That's right , I exist only when they need something from me or have to get something done . I wanted to shout that to his face but all I said was a simple ''Yes!'' and handed him the notes like an unwilling little child.I look at her and find something unusual . She isn't furiously taking down the lecture notes but rather she was looking out the window at the rain . She had the same mesmerized look on her face that I saw earlier on the train. There was a sense of yearning in her eyes . I knew she wanted to go out . The next period was chemistry. I watched her pick up her bag and wave goodbye to her friends and leave the classroom before the professor arrived! I was shocked .She had never bunked a class before. I decided to follow her to see where she was going . I picked up my bag and ran out.Unlike her ,they wouldn't notice my absence.I was a nobody. I get outside of the gate just in time to see her yellow umbrella walking in the rain . I don't have an umbrella and I'm completely drenched now .She gets into a share auto heading to the station . I signal the auto to stop for me and get inside and sit beside the driver . She is sitting right behind me now . I look at her face through the mirror. She is more beautiful up-close. Her eyes are a brilliant shade of green. We reach the station . She pays her fare and starts climbing up the stairs.I do the same . But then she stops and turns towards me . I'm frozen in my tracks .She is moving her mouth but I'm unable to make out what she says. I'm mesmerized by her beauty .I know,I know that's cheesy but God if you could have seen her at that moment . She is slowly waving her hand infront of my face now.

"Hellooooo, Arjun ,did you also bunk the class ??"

OMG !!! She knew my freaking name !! I opened my mouth but nothing came out,so I just nodded my head.

" I just love the rain ,don't you ? I just couldn't sit in class anymore with all this raining outside , I just ....couldn't resist !"

I just kept nodding my head like an idiot to what she was saying.

"Um ... Do you want to walk with me , like in the rain? " ,she asked me in a friendly voice.
My mind screamed HELL YEAH !! but my mouth said nothing .So I looked if she was joking or not and then nodded my head again.

"Well,come on then let's go!"

Saying so , she started climbing the rest of the stairs . I followed right behind her like a love sick puppy! I mustered up enough courage and asked her how she knew my name .

She laughed and told me" You're roll no . 7 , sits in the second row in the corner and always looks at me in class, the guy who catches the same train and gets down at the same station as mine and then watches me catch a share auto home every day for the past 4 semesters.How would I possibly not know who you are ?"
I felt totally flushed , she knew who I was . In fact , I was elated to know that I wasn't a nobody . I wanted to shout that from the rooftops. We started walking side by side in the rain together waiting for our train. She slowly slipped her fingers into mine and clasped them together.I looked down at our hands and then smiled . She was grinning back at me.We were thoroughly soaked but we didn't mind .
Unlike in those mushy romantic films , we didn't walk off into the sunset , no, no ,we walked off into the pouring rain !

Love Or Something Like It

I wondered whether it would ever come back . I knew it was a one time thing. But then it didn't feel like that before. It felt different and when I say different, I mean the good kind of different.I mean I've felt it since I was a kid and that was for my mother.Then I've felt it in high school with so many different people that I completely lost count after a while . None of them ever returned it so I guess none of them deserved it from me in the beginning. But once it finds you, I truly hope you never let it go because once you lose it , you might never find it again . On one hand ,you have these people spending all their lives without ever finding it and on the other hand you have those people who find it right under their noses but are just too stupid to realise it. Then there are those people ,who are the luckiest beings on Earth to have found it .Then there are people like me who find it once but are too careless or stupid or dumb enough to lose it .I'm sad but that doesn't mean I won't enjoy my life doing all things that I want to do . You get only one life and you might never get one back again unless you believe in reincarnation .I'm confident that I'll find it again somewhere along the way . I just hope it's kinda soon before I lose hope or my sanity for that matter.
Love sure is a funny feeling. It's what makes us all a little crazy and do those spontaneous things that we would never have done if we were not in love. Love is like the blood that rushes in our veins and breathes life into our body . Love is what a mother feels for a child when she carries him and what a father feels ,the very first time he holds his baby in his arms. Love is when the young boy gives his last piece of chocolate to the little girl ,crying because she fell down an hurt herself.
Love is a beautiful thing and if your from planet Earth and don't know what love is ,well my friend no offence but I would suggest you jump off a cliff .Get out there and find love or something like it while you still can !

Over The Wall

I stare down from the window of my classroom on the third floor. I see the wall there. Ordinary people may think there is nothing special about an old grey wall. But to me that old grey wall is what lies between me and my freedom. Freedom from what you may ask. I say it is freedom from everything that restricts you from being yourself. It is this wall that keeps me caged like a bird who might never know what it is like to fly high in the blue ocean of sky. I’m momentarily distracted by the wind rustling through the green leaves. It is cloudy and it looks like it might rain any moment now. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I can hear the teacher calling out names from the attendance register. I drone out the noise and look back at the wall. Sitting here, on this old broken down wooden bench, I’ve always wondered what was on the other side of the wall. It could be one of those beautiful meadows filled with wildflowers that you always see on those nature shows on the telly or maybe it could be this wonderful jungle filled with the most exotic plants and animals there is or maybe even better it could be the paradise that I’ve always dreamed of. I see a squirrel run down from the oak tree whose branches reach my window. Like me, it too is curious to know what is on the other side of the wall. It perches itself on the wall and stares into the distance. I do not know what it is thinking but maybe it too is looking for the most precious and most elusive commodity there is in the world. Freedom from the winged predators that torment it or maybe freedom from the scarcity of food. My imagination has carried me this far. I wonder how far it will take me now. I tap my watch, to see the needle moving ever so slowly. I look back out the window at the wall. So close yet so far away. A crow, now sits on the stone brick wall looking, looking at something in the distance. Within seconds it flies out of sight. The bird has it easy, I suppose. It could fly away from its troubles anytime it wishes and never look back at the old life it leaves behind. I wish I were that bird. Flying could maybe get me my freedom but then again with my luck I’d probably starve to death.

                                                I hear the dismissal bell. I snap back to reality. Everyone has left already. I’m the last to leave. I slowly get my bag and walk out of the classroom. The afternoon sun feels hot on my skin but then again it looks as if it might rain. The wall is visible now I can see it now. It stands there stationary. It has no feelings whatsoever as it is merely made out of stone unlike me who is only human. I slowly walk towards it. I think about climbing it. It would change everything. I would have a new life, new home, new destination, new purpose, a completely new beginning. It was exactly what I needed. I see the squirrel looking at me from atop the tree as if asking me if I’m really going to do it. Climb the old stone wall. I raise my hand and touch the wall with my hand. It feels cold against my skin. I cannot do it, I’m not ready. It is not my time yet. My time will come, I know it now. I turn and walk away towards home. I look back at the wall, the old grey wall. Tomorrow would just be another new day.....another step to my new beginning.